Since the first appointment I had with the Doctor when they explained the 'tongue resection' to me, I have spent a lot of time worrying and researching ways of keeping that scalpel away from my tongue.
Just give me a little radiation, I thought, and leave my tongue alone. Some of the big hospitals in the states do a chemo/radiation combo rather than surgery. Oops, then I read about how you may end up losing your teeth with the radiation. Hmm - teeth or tongue - well, that's a question you don't think of asking yourself, is it? Luckily for me, I always can use my Dad as an example of strength, courage AND perspective - after all, to save his life, he lost his leg. I guess I can lose a chunk of tongue to rid myself of the cancer.
But wait, more reading, more studies by the National Cancer Institute and I find that many cancer centres prefer to take out the lymph nodes preventatively. So now I find myself switching from the 'keep that scalpel away from me' side to the 'keep on slicing' side.
I'm in the cancer treatment river for sure though, had my CT scan and have a surgery date booked. The CT was quick and I was very glad that they told me that the contrast dye delivered via an expertly placed IV would make me feel like I was peeing my pants. Even after being told, I still had a momentary panic thinking that maybe Shoppers was right when they sent me that Poise sample in the mail!
With my surgery date booked for a little over a week from now, I've put a call into the Doctor's office to get a better understanding of their recommendation to not do a neck dissection. It's hard to imagine that I'd feel like having someone give me a frankenstein like scar, but once you've hacked a chunk of tongue out, is the Frankenstein scar that much of a worry?
And, in other more interesting priorities, as I continue to float and bob along the cancer treatment river, I'm starting to plan my upcoming TV time. Is it time to start watching the Walking Dead? Should I order Season 3 of Homeland?
Big decisions, little decisions, all in good time...